The votes have been submitted and the results tallied. After much debate among the Dick-in-a-Box award selection committee, our winner of January 2013’s Dick-in-a-Box has been chosen. Who is the lucky recipient? A man who should need no introduction after the events of the past few months: Wayne LaPierre, CEO and Executive Vice President of the National Rifle Association (NRA).
Mr. LaPierre and his organization had quite the January (and December), managing to repeatedly make their way into the news for some pretty ridiculous moves. But it’s LaPierre himself who wins the award and not the NRA as a whole. Why? Because as the NRA’s public face LaPierre has become well known for taking a dick-headed approach to all gun related discussions. He is great at whipping up fear and paranoia among NRA members while painting the government as anti-second amendment commies out to take people’s beloved guns away. However, if the rumors are to be believed, not all NRA members think like their leader (shocker!).
LaPierre who very much opposes banning semi-automatics, improving background checks and closing gun show loop-holes is taking a stand that his own organization’s membership may or may not agree with (it all depends on who’s polls you believe). Dissent among members or not, it was LaPierre’s responses to the Newtown, Connecticut massacre and the gun control debates that followed that really won him this award. Consider these events:
- A week after the massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, Mr. LaPierre gave a widely ridiculed speech in which he blamed everyone and everything except guns, including: “the media, gun-free school zones, video game makers, and President Obama” for gun violence. A week later, on Meet The Press he was presented with the opportunity to display a bit more compassion. He instead chose to stay the dick-headed course.
- Not long after all the public crazy making, the NRA chooses to release this ad: the response, much like the response to LaPierre’s speech weeks before was generally negative. Even a colleague of LaPierre’s, NRA senior lobbyist Jim Baker, recognized that an ad calling out the president’s children was “ill-advised.”
- But the fun didn’t stop there. A month to the day after the Newtown massacre, the NRA released their iOS video game NRA: Practice Range. From the game’s reviews the most notable thing about it is the piss-poor game play. But what makes the game’s existence truly offensive, is the hypocrisy of LaPierre blaming video games for gun violence one month and in the next releasing a shooting game of his own.
These events of course were merely the darkly-absurd backdrop to months of take-no-prisoners, hyper-masculine posturing and refusals to negotiate on policies most US citizens want to see enacted. Put it all together and you’ve got a 2-3 month span of lunacy for the record books.
So, for this remarkable display of cold, uncaring dick-headedness in the face of reason, Wayne LaPierre is being awarded January 2013’s Dick-in-a-Box! Enjoy Mr. LaPierre. Enjoy.