2012’s Dick-in-a-Box Award for Film & TV Goes to…

Before I honor 2012’s ultimate winner with a shiny new Dick-in-a-Box, I must begin with a warning; Our inaugural award is being given to an extremely disturbing, NSFW short film that features a very graphic assault and rape.

The short, titled “Turn Off Your Bloody Phone” was directed by Can Evrenol and is one of those “be considerate, turn off your phone” pre-movie PSAs we’ve all become familiar with. This one proceeded films shown at Frightfest 2012, a horror film festival in England.

Regarding that graphic assault and rape… the screen shot you see and my brief description to follow should explain all you need to know. However, if you insist on watching the short you can find it here.

Frightfest screen shot

As for the film… Look, I get the context. It’s part of a horror film festival so I’m sure shock and disturb is precisely what the director set out to do. Now, I’ve never visited “the dark heart of cinema” (their words) that is Frightfest myself, but I’m willing to bet many of it’s films are a veritable cornucopia of disturbing violent acts. For all I know the films in the festival featured depictions of violence just as bad or even worse than this.

Nonetheless, floating around the interwebs we have this short film that –regardless of context– graphically depicts a murder and what can only be described as skull-rape. Not only is it meant to shock and disturb but I’d argue it’s also meant to titillate… what with it’s porn referencing money shot of an ending.

The graphic murder is bad enough (interesting side note; a number of folks I showed this film to were pretty much “whatever” on the murder and didn’t really get disturbed until the rape… honestly I had a similar reaction). Add the man’s act of sexualized violence as a punch line and you’ve tipped the scale for me (and earn yourself a gilded dick-in-a-box to boot).

Let’s talk about that act of sexual violence for a minute… the whole thing starts off with a kindly gentleman who only wants to enjoy his movie in a cell phone free environment asking the rude woman in front of him to please shut off her phone. Being cruel and rude she responds the only way she knows how… with a “piss off!” The kindly gentleman pushed to his limit by her lack of propriety responds justly, giving this rude uppity woman what she deserves… a hole in the back of the head followed by a good skull fucking.

Sarcasm aside, the setup clearly implies that he did what he did because she deserved it. This people, is also known as VICTIM BLAMING!

Finally, we have that disturbingly graphic coup de gras which serves to emphasize his victory over rude women and inappropriately used cell phones everywhere (and provide proof for the viewing audience that he managed to get off). The whole thing says a lot about the expected, sexualized nature of men’s violence against women; When a woman dares to say no and even worse say it with attitude, men must stand their ground (in this case via murder/rape/necrophilia).

Of all the ridiculousness we saw in the movies during 2012, I find it impossible to top this. And so, without further ado I present “Turn Off Your Bloody Phone” with 2012’s Dick-in-a-Box award for Film & TV for its outstanding achievement depicting dick-headed masculinity in 2012.

Your 2012 Dick-in-a-Box award winner: "Turn Off Your Bloody Phone"

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